I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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