if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
