Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
