I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
