I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
