Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
