a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
