Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
