Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
