some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
