do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
