you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
