I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one acquire holy water?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize