I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
