But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
