I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
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Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
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I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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