Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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