The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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