if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
