take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
