she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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