Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
