I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
