I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
