I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
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i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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