is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
