what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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