guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
