He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
im holly from the hills drunk
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
