pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
