that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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