This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
