Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
