I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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