Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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