Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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