yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
