New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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