i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
