is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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