Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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