Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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