Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize