I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
