it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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