I wish I could punch you in the face.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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