I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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