OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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