none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
