my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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