Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
