So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
