happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
