Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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