walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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