how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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